Ideas, Training

Changes & Life

Changes are hard, no doubt. But sticking to them is even harder. Persisting when life tries to knock us down. Pushing through the bad times, trying to sustain some form of balance between chaos and order.

Most important part of making changes is having the ability to step out of our comfort zone. Doing that on a regular basis in all areas of life is what we need to thrive in the long run. In order to stay present in this universe of distractions, we need a higher cause, a transcendent purpose in life.

Find what you love and let it kill you. Charles Bukowski

Bukowski speaks to the idea of dedicating yourself fully to your passion. Finding what you love doing is the prerequisite to a fulfilling life, a life worth living. Making the pursuit of one’s passion so intense, that it might even lead to their downfall.

Without a path in mind supported by goals, we are a vessel with no steering, floating mindlessly through life. Running in circles like a headless chicken. Usually, we grasp on to cheap hits of dopamine like watching TV, or scrolling ferociously through social media. Searching for distractions, instead of trying our best to avoid them.

But before we can define the stepping stones to our future, we need an idea of what that would look like – a vision. Dr. Peterson, at one of his lectures, suggested to ask yourself this question.

“If I could be… Who I could be… And the best way that I could be that. What would that look like?”

Where are you?

First of all, we need to clearly define where we are. How would you know where to go, if you don’t know where you are, at this very moment?

Jung said that true self-knowledge requires courage and honesty. Exploring the depths of our psyche, and striving for a balanced integration of all aspects of oneself. This journey of “knowing thyself” leads to personal growth, psychological health, and a more meaningful life.

Digging through the subconscious brings out demons from the past though. Everything we suppressed in our lives when we were not mature enough. It is painful, and it does not get any easier very soon. Usually it gets harder at first.

How deep down the rabbit hole do you want to go?

I guess we face as much pain as we are capable of, at every stage of life. Persistence means trying not to shy away from it, feeling deeply. Accepting all aspects of our personality, is the starting point to reaching our full potential. Being content with where we are right now, is the foundation for building a great life.

But! There is no finish line to this process. I will be happy when I _________ never works. Happy comes from meaning. Meaning comes from solving problems. Solving problems means some form of work, a challenge. Let us call it movement. And movement in psychological, or physical terms, is a never ending process.

Process & Changes

Never underestimate the process of change. Fully embracing the feeling of – “Oh I got it” – usually bites you back in the ass and says “NO, you don’t!” First of all, there is no finish line in the pursuit of meaning. After experiencing a significant high from a dopamine rush, there often follows a period of feeling down or less motivated, commonly referred to as a “dopamine crash.”

These moments have a way of dragging us down, deep into a cycle of reflection on the decisions we’ve made. When the future seems cloaked in darkness, when there’s no clear sign of an end to our struggles, it’s only natural to feel the weight of discouragement.

But here lies the silver lining. Every downfall serves to strengthen and enlighten us. Each period of darkness prepares us for the light, teaching us lessons that we never would have learned in brighter times. There’s always wisdom waiting to be discovered in our recovery. A hidden truth that emerges, only after we’ve navigated through the storm.

Lessons and learning

We’ve become adept at analysing the human body, breaking it down into tiny pieces for the sake of scientific discovery. This is invaluable for research, giving us profound insights into how we function. However, this detailed, compartmentalised understanding is not the best guide for navigating life’s complexities.

We often approach life’s trials with a microscope. We zoom in on the immediate problems, focusing too narrowly on the obstacles in front of us, rather than considering the broader landscape of our journey. This narrow focus can sometimes obscure the larger lessons and opportunities that adversity brings.

Step back and look at the big picture.

The state we find ourselves in, is a result of a complex interplay of multiple aspects, that play a role in ones life. Relationships, social status, personal history, genetics, current life circumstances, and about a hundred more. Everything is connected.

For example, our entire body is dependent on the immune system. From the perspective of different studies and alternative approaches, it’s reasonable to argue that, we might not even understand half of its complexities.

We can safely assume that understanding our life path is even more complicated than that. So stressing over figuring out the ins and outs of one problem, can lead to exhaustion. Having nothing else to grasp on to, a person can fall into a circle of madness, questioning their entire existence.

Keep going!

Battling through tough times often requires a combination of strategies. Having the tenacity and willpower to persist is deeply intertwined with emotional regulation, and motivation. Mindfulness and meditation are one trick to keep our minds sharp, our emotions in check.

Recognising, sometimes even naming our emotions significantly reduces their intensity. It helps to say things out loud, perhaps even curse a little to release the tension. Being kind to oneself in moments of failure or struggle can refill emotional reserves, making it easier to keep going.

Doing things we hate is hard, but the more we do them, the better we feel. Also it gets easier with repetition, until eventually it is no longer hard. Eventually it might even start to feel good. At this time we find new problems to solve, new adventures to partake, challenges to overcome.

The harder we deliberately make our lives in the short term, the easier it is to cruise through life in the future.

Game called life

No matter how you spin it, each and every one of us are all in. We might as well strive to being the best we can be.

Keep in mind that, the only thing that is a hundred percent certain, in every one of our lives, is change.

If it were easy, everybody would do it!

Get busy doing things you do not like doing. Every time you finish a day full with challenging tasks it feels good right? An active lifestyle fills you with energy. The harder the workout session, the better the feeling after it. Everything just feels so much better, if you have to fight for it.

Feedback

Immediate feedback might be the most important part of momentum. Without feedback we can get discouraged or lost on the way. Losing that drive, the motivation to keep going. Break down your goal into smaller pieces, celebrate each win. Acknowledge your progress and do not let setbacks discourage you.

While changes are not easy to incorporate, there are a lot of ideas we can play with to keep our momentum. Finding balance between challenge and skill is the best way to achieve Flow states.

Flow

What we are trying to achieve should be challenging enough to stretch our abilities, but not so hard that it leads to anxiety.

Flow is a term we use to describe the optimal state of mind and body. Being so engaged in the current activity that everything around us vanishes. Everything seems timeless, effortless. It might just be the best feeling in the world.

We all experience it in one way or another.

Remember the last time you were out with friends having the time of your life? Conversations flew in different directions, crazy ideas were born.

That time you started improving at a new skill, wanted to keep going even though you were super tired.

For every sports enthusiast. Perfect conditions + some of the coolest people in your life. You were on top of your physical state, and you were just charging all day.

That is flow!

And it is possible to transform this feeling into our daily lives. Keep the challenge/skill ratio in balance, be kind to yourself, go all in.

Slovenski prevod teksta – Spremembe in življenje

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